Patino Post

New Year

2012-01-08T12:44:00.001-06:00

Happy new year! Here are a few exciting photos from our north west trip. A great wedding in Portland, making posole with my sister, beach time and hanging with cousins.

Thoughts from England

2011-11-09T06:47:00.001-06:00

I returned Monday night from a week in England as part of a team of women who led a Women’s ACTS retreat. The retreat was held at a pilgrimage site founded 950 years ago after a woman was asked by Mary in a dream to build the place where she received the Annunciation to bear Christ (Luke 1:26-38). This revelation of Mary is known as Our Lady of Walsingham.

I have returned from this retreat renewed in my own faith. During the retreat I gave a talk about my own faith journey and my path that wavers between focusing on my own efforts to fulfill my own sense of worthiness to accepting who I am and what I have been given as pure grace and gift. As a shared my story, it was accompanied by many tears, which I was not expecting nor completely understood. After sitting with the experience, perhaps my tears where recognizing I am as much in this pattern of wavering between having to prove myself and accepting grace as before, particularly as I approach graduation and feelings of needing to prove my worthiness is work swell up.

This morning I woke up early to read, pray and soak in some silence. I can across this reflection and smiled:

You would think everyone would want God, but a common response is “Lord, I am not worthy. I would rather have my own religion and morality, which gives me the impression that I can win a cosmic contest by my own efforts.”

In contrast, the Annunciation story is the crescendo point of the theme of total grace and gift. Mary does not say she is not worthy. She just asks for clarification.

- Richard Rohr, Hidden Things

I smile because our retreat was at a place soaked in the revelation of the Annunciation and what this signifies reflects the movement that occurred within me- from winning God by my own efforts to accepting grace and gift. Worthiness was never the question.

This experienced encompassed much more than my personal revelation, but at I sat this morning, this is the reflection that came to me.

Learning

2011-10-24T20:42:00.000-05:00

Lately I've had this thought while watching my two year old repeat ABC's, songs, or retell stories that he's heard dozens of times; he's doing what we all do when we learn something new.
As Meg or I will read him his favorite books or even books that we've just picked up from the library, after a few times, he will start telling the story to us. He's memorized it. I find this really incredible to watch, basically he is showing us how he's learned these words and using them in the context in which he's learned them. It's a pretty basic learning style. We all learn math the same way, first we get a formula and then we practice using that formula in some context either word problems or basic number problems. But it's all the same pattern, we use it in the same context.

What is really awesome to see is when he uses the words he knows in another context other than the books we read. This is the next level of learning. One example of this is with Shel Silverstein's "The Giving Tree," this is one of my all-time favorite books as it is many other people's. We were on a hike one day and Carlos saw a stump (this happens at the end of the book, where the old man returns to the tree and all that is left to give is a place to sit). Carlos upon seeing the stump called it a "giving tree!" and promptly went over to sit on it. It was not just an old tree, or a decaying log, it was the stump from the book.

These moments happen to us constantly, we are constantly taking in what we read about, or see on tv and applying the language we hear to make sense of the world around us. For me, to see it happen in such pure form, makes me appreciate how awesome our minds are even as two year olds.

August/Whidbey Island

2011-09-29T21:36:00.000-05:00

Again, in my attempt to catch up on capturing these photos and some of the unique moments of this past summer I am writing about a month behind.
We were fortunate enough to spend a couple of weeks out at Whidbey Island this August. We spent the entire time down on the cabin affectionately called "the peanut."
For me it has been one of my favorite vacations of all time. Our days consisted of waking up and wondering what we would do for the day, the choices between beach walks, volleyball, crabbing, and campfires. We occasionally visited the other part of the island but seemed pretty content to stay near the water.

There are so many wonderful parts about staying at the cabins. We are away from traffic so kids (and dogs) roam freely without fear of cars, only the occasionally golf cart. The drift wood makes excellent forts! Meg grew up going to Whidbey Island as a child and it was neat for her to bring her own baby boy to live on the island for a summer.

We were lucky to have so much family come and visit us while we were there, each weekend would host slew of cousins and aunts and uncles.

Throughout the weeks Carlos did have a playmate in his cousin Matthew as they explored the beach and played on the trampoline.

Seen here, they are about to go out on our first crabbing adventure.

Driftwood Forts!!--->

On the 6th of August, Carlos turned two years old. We celebrated with family and cupcakes. I'm not sure he understood the event of having a birthday, but he did not complain about the treats.

Early in the trip Meg and I were able to sneak away (without Carlitos) to SnowWater, a time-share that her Grandma owns.

A few months ago, Meg's Grandfather passed away here at Snowwater, and we were the first visitors from the family to go there since he had passed.

In a certain way the trip was difficult for Meg, it brought back many tears of her grandfather's passing. At the same time this was a place that held many special memories for her grandparents. It was their get-away in the mountains, near Glacier WA. We spent time without cell phones, without connectivity, playing cards and drinking wine, things we think they would have done out there.

Meg and I enjoyed a wonderful hike up Church Mtn, we got as far as the snow covered tops would let us. We walked the pathways around the condo and walked near the river. We ate at a great little ski bar and grill, played ping pong (Meg beat me every time), and shuffle board.

We returned to spend a weekend with my sister Lora and her family, visiting from Portland. I was so excited to show her my new found skill of crabbing. I had gotten pinched badly the day before but was determined to go out again.

This trip was a true vacation, we left wondering if we could live there spending our days fixing up the cabin and hunting for our foods, shopping at the local farmers markets.

No plans to move yet, but I'm sure we'll return for a vacation soon.

Balloon Glow in Forest Park

2011-09-18T09:08:00.000-05:00

Per a request from my Grandfather, I made sure to get these photos up as soon as possible.
On Friday night, we took a long walk through Forest Park to be a part of one of the coolest events that the city has to offer. The balloon glow is the opening night to the annual Hot Air Balloon races in St Louis. The evening before the race, all the balloons are on display and people are able to see them up close and be a part of the festivities.

As we approached the balloons, it seemed surreal to have these enormous structures up close. I had never been near one, and as they glowed it really did seem magical how it all worked.
Often each balloon would have 4 to 5 people holding down the basket or tether to keep them grounded. There were bag-pippers playing and the typical fairground foods, turkey legs and funnel cakes. As we walked up I smiled to hear "99 Red Balloons" over the radio there.

The excitement would build as one team of ballooners would blow their air horn to signal to light the flames. Then all of them would fire up their tanks and you would have this awesome glow throughout the park.

I couldn't help but be as excited as Carlos was, he literally giggled and squealed in his chair every time he saw the flames bellow out.

The evening ended when all the balloons came down and the crowds stayed to watch a fireworks display up close. By far this was one of my favorite evenings here in St Louis.
For one reason or another since we've been in the area, we have missed this event each year. I've always heard how cool it was and how beautiful the balloons were at night, but this was a great chance to experience them ourselves. It was even better to see it from the eyes of a two year old with all the awe and wonder he felt. "Hot Balloons" as he calls them hold a special place for both of us now.

July (My attempt to catch up on blogging)

2011-09-13T14:19:00.000-05:00

This summer flew by in an incredible whirlwind of trips to the airport during July. Several times this summer Meghan and I made the 25 minutes drive to Lambert airport at 4am. We were often awakened in a delerious rush that came with the realization that we might miss our flight.
Carlos, completely oblivious to his parents careless planning, always woke up with immmediate energy (yes at 4am) and an uneneding declaration of "AIRPLANE!" He couldn't contain himself, he was so excited.

Usually we would make it to the airport only an hour before our flight. We'd made it barely in time to ensure our luggage was on the plane and then pleeded with the airport gods that the gate wouldn't close after we walked through security. In our race to the airport inevitably, we would forget a few essential items; child's birth certificate, car seat, and worst of all "woof woof" (Carlos's beloved).

We learned some valuable lessons about getting to the airport sooner and putting the birth certificate on the iphone so we didn't lose it. My sister once forgot her daughter's birth certificate at the aiport and she was forced to pay for a ticket because she could not prove her daughter was less than two years old. Somebody said it was like a Bobby Knight incident. We don't talk about that story much anymore.

We got down to San Antonio to visit my parents, and two of my sisters were there with their kiddos (15 of us in all). The child to adult ratio was 3:2, most under 10 years old.
It got a little crazy sometimes, but we survived.
We went down to the coast to spend some time on the beach with everybody, I attempted to skim board, Meghan got sunburned and Carlos enjoyed chasing around his cousins.

Some trip high-lites; every morning my Dad would take a few people out fishing, it was nice because it was quiet and you had an excuse to have a beer at like 9am. In the evenings, we'd play dominoes and laugh, and talk.

One of the days out at the coast, while it was too hot to be out on the water, Meg and I hosted a dance party for all the nieces and nephews, complete with instructions to the Cupid Shuffle.

On the days we would travel, it was an all day event to get everybody in the 3 car caravan, the houses cleaned up and all the bags packed. With all the logistics and the rush to get out the door, somebody wouldn't be happy, somebody would be hungry and I recognized more and more how much like my Dad I am becoming.
We traveled to Tu y Yo, my grandfather's ranch. He purchased this with his dad in 1975, 144 acres of mesquite trees, hay fields. I grew up hunting, fishing, riding horses and generally romping around here during the summer months. It was cool to see Carlos do some exploring of his own. A few times he'd go missing, but you could count on he was usually checking out the tractors or the riding lawn mowers.
More family gathered with us there to enjoy a cajun boil, a few water gun fights and more oppurtunities to catch up. Unfortunately, I got sick off the cajun boil and spent the next few days going from the toilet back to the couch. Sorry Meg.

We returned from Texas more exhausted than when we left but thankful we were able to see so much family. Our next trip a week later was a long weekend in Colorado Springs. One of our groomsmen from our wedding, Brandon was getting married at the end of July there in C. Springs. We stayed with my sister, Gina who we just saw a few weeks before in Texas. It also was a first time since graduation to revisit the Air Force Academy for me.

The wedding was a ton of fun and my sister graciously took care of Carlos while we enjoyed a little date night. It was a great chance to see some guys who I went to high school with. We enjoyed the night out and danced like fools (no surprise).

The Central Catholic contingent

July was a busy month, we'd barely been in St Louis it seemed like, but I think the opportunity to see friends and family outweighed the flashes of chaos that our traveling occasionally showed.

June Photos!

2011-06-27T16:09:00.002-05:00

Johnson Shut-ins State Park, Missouri

After I returned from Camp Shelby MS, and Maxwell AFB, Meghan had arranged for us to stay a couple nights at the Johnson Shut-ins State Park a couple hours south of St Louis. The park is along the East Fort Black River with numerous hiking trails and camping sites available. We stayed in a nice cabin, which was perfect for our comfort level with an (almost) 2 year old. We explored along the river and played in the water, Meg and I took turns jumping off of the rocks into the deeper parts of the river. Carlos enjoyed himself throwing rocks along the river.

Hiking with the Jensens
Meg took Carlos along with our neighbor, Vicky and her boys to Castlewood Park. Carlos enjoyed the day chasing the older boys around and playing in the river. I think he'll be very excited to hang out with all of his cousins this summer.

Backyard Things

Since adding our garden, some lounge chairs our backyard has become such a comfortable hangout spot. We'll occasionally host neighbors for a drink and a bonfire (when it was cooler) or for whatever is on the grill. The dogs from next door come over to play with Carlos and satisfy everybody's dog needs.

As it has warmed up this summer, the sprinkler has come in handy to entertain and keep us cool.

Here are just a couple of snap shots from our backyard.

Around St Louis

Just this past weekend we hosted Meg's cousins Jamie and Phil, it gave us a chance to play tour-guide and take them to some of our favorite St Louis spots. We of course hit up Ted Drews for some frozen custard, unfortunately Gus's Pretzels was closed, but we'll save that for the next trip.

We saw the largest collection of mosaics in the world at St Louis Cathedral Basilica and then went to take fun photos at the Arch before they left.

Meg's brother Peter is in town until next month, so more photos to come of adventures with uncle Pete.

Photos from New Orleans

2011-05-30T16:43:00.000-05:00

I thought it was time to upload some photos from our trip in March to New Orleans. The photos we did put on here weren't all that descriptive, these are some of the sights and things that caught our eyes. Enjoy.

On a particularly quiet morning, Meg and I got up early to explore the city. I took a few photos of things that you wouldn't normally catch in the night-life scene of the French Quarter. In the photo are some of the decked out balconies ready for bead throwers and enthusiasts.

At first I could not figure out what these little bolts were, but these little tokens found on every single house are used to hold back the shutters when open.

There is a famous gas lantern shop in New Orleans and you find gas lanterns all around the city giving it the unique charm.

Meg and I sat in front of this house for a couple of hours. I don't think the people minded that we enjoyed their front porch, people watching and letting the day go by. We liked the feel of the house, the way the paint had begun to fade and peel and the unique carpentry in the eves above us.

This is the blue dog at the museum of art in New Orleans, George Rodrigue is the artist that has made this a New Orleans classic. The story is that long after his dog died he was creating something for a haunted house tour. He found an old photo of his studio dog and made her into an icon.

Date Night: Cardinal's Game

2011-05-08T14:14:00.003-05:00

Last Wednesday, Meg and I took a date night to see the Cardinals play the Marlins. Carlos stayed with a babysitter and we took advantage of city living and rode our bikes to the game.

The ride was not bad at all, contrary to what we thought we might encounter. It was just under 5 miles and we had a defined bicycle lane the majority of the way there (Yeah St Louis!).

We were pleasantly surprised to be able to park our bikes right outside the stadium and didn't have to mess with too much traffic going in.

At the stadium we enjoyed a couple of beers, pretzels, nachos and a hotdog. My office supplied the tickets so we didn't mind paying for dinner at stadium prices.

It was nice in the midst of our final exams and before I leave for field training (Maxwell AFB for 5 weeks) to have some time to ourselves. Meg had not been to the stadium before so it was also a good opportunity to check things out before her flashmob at Kiener Plaza.

After watching through the 6th inning, we took a lap around the stadium and then decided to take off to beat traffic. The Cards unfortunately lost in a super long game so we didn't miss much

Meg and I in Kiener Plaza just outside the stadium with a view of the Arch and the courthouse behind us.

The seats were great 2nd deck, Left field, we found this is where some true Cards fans sit.

. flashmob

Saturday Morning at the Patino's

2011-05-08T13:07:00.001-05:00

On Saturday morning we usually spend some time dancing to a few of Carlos's favorite songs (JP's too). Please ignore my attempt to sing along with Men at Work.

Letter to the Editor-Deconstruction

2011-05-06T08:53:00.000-05:00

Meg has a talent at getting her letters to the editor published. This is the third I know of in two different cities, her second one with the St Louis Post-Dispatch.

Deconstruction
"Tornado confirmed; 2,700 buildings in St. Louis County with serious damage (April 23)" highlighted that the Good Friday tornados resulted in hundreds of condemned residences. Volunteers will help to clear debris and rebuild the homes that remain structurally sound, but what will happen to the condemned homes?

One solution is deconstruction. This is the process of taking the remains of a building apart piece by piece and recycling the materials instead of demolishing a building and dumping the materials into a landfill. Deconstruction diverts 80 percent of waste from landfills. While other cities, such as Cleveland and Detroit, support deconstruction and the creation of green-collar jobs, St. Louis has lagged behind — until recently.

An emerging nonprofit organization, the Brick Bank, is offering deconstruction services in St. Louis and could become a pivotal player in promoting sustainable industry jobs in St. Louis. Deconstruction provides an opportunity to turn the wreckage of the Good Friday tornadoes into salvageable materials, materials for rebuilding the St. Louis community."

Meghan Patiño • St. Louis

Happy Hours and Public Schools

2011-05-02T22:29:00.000-05:00

(Lately I've been really interested in the connection with public schools and economic development. If you have comments or want to share articles you've read in this subject, feel free to leave them in the comments box. I intend to write more on the subject, this is just a set up. =) Thanks, JP)

Imagine you desire to go out to a restaurant in your neighborhood. You have heard about a great place that serves free appetizers and really cheap drinks and you've heard of its great atmosphere but as you pull into the parking lot you see something very telling about a restaurant. The parking lot is empty, then you notice that there are only 3 other people in the restaurant on a Friday night at 7pm. Suspecting that potentially there may have been a unforeseen gastrointestinal epidemic you vacate the scene.

You pull into the second best restaurant in your town, a little further drive out of your way, but still a fine place for drinks and a meal. You pull in and see you see people in the windows, a friendly atmosphere, as you walk in and are greeted over a low roar of chatter you decide to stay, despite the 20 minute wait because people are here.
The same kind of affect happens within cities, we stay and go where there is a population density that gives us comfort (safety in numbers is our adage). It’s the reason that bars and restaurants have happy hours, if you see people in the window between 4-6; you’ll probably come by for dinner at 7.

The latest 2010 census revealed the hollowing out of St Louis city and more people retreating to St Charles county and other further destinations. And this pattern of sprawling out has continued for the last 20 or more years.

The post-dispatch ran a series late last year called “Can St Louis compete?” addressing the St Louis region and issues of economic growth in businesses and attracting new talent to the region. How do we bring in businesses and fresh talent? How do we fight this epidemic of those fleeing to the county and beyond?
On the Regional Chamber of Commerce’s website they list all the lists of reasons people may want to live in St Louis region, yet the downtown keeps hollowing out.

The Arch renovation competition brought in great architects and designers to imagine and develop a great tourist destination that will bring people from miles around to our Grand city. And don’t we want a vibrant downtown that has people there more hours between just 9-5? But the businesses that develop simply from the Arch grounds may not be enough.

For so long perhaps we’ve been asking the wrong question, “How do you bring in business?” This assumes that business alone equates to economic development of a city. It is clear even as the city hollows out there is much business downtown but the people who work downtown are very happy to commute from a long ways away.

When it comes to real estate purchasing and settling into a home, the two most common factors for middle income families are local amenities and public schools.

People will live in the best public school district that they can afford.
Although new businesses may emerge from the Arch renovations and our beloved Cardinals Stadium these things make not a densely populated city.

In order to (re)build this city and achieve a densely populated, sustainable devleoping city, a high achieving school district is the equivalent to happy hours.

Easter Album

2011-04-29T11:17:00.000-05:00

Show us the eggs!

Carlos shows his Great Grampa (the Fire Captain) the ins and outs of the toy fire truck.

Carlos & Gramps

That's me smashing an egg on a little girl's head.

All the cousin's with their Great Granparents.

Carlos and two of his Tias.

Over Easter weekend Meg, Carlos and I drove to Dallas TX to celebrate my sister's new home, 3 birthday's (nephew Tommy, Meghan, and sister Lora's) and 2 new baby's (Leo; Lora, and Marianne: Rita) and of course the Resurrection (Christ's). We were fortunate our grandparents (Carlos's great grandparents), and parents (JP's) were able to join us all. We spent the weekend making cascarones , playing in the park, watching Disney'sTangled, playing games, and generally enjoying everybody's company.

The girls enjoyed a few hours of getting their pedicure's and manicures while the guys ran the kids over to the park to wear them down.

Carlos got the hang of looking for Easter eggs and even crumpled a few over his cousin's heads. Everybody ate too much candy but we left glad we made the trip.

March Photos

2011-04-29T10:17:00.001-05:00

Here's the run-down on March for us:

Meg's mom came to visit and helped us install a couple of garden plots. Then Meg and I went to New Orleans, while Grandma stayed with Carlos.

We saw alligators in the bayou and listened to jazz at Preservation Hall and danced at the Rock'n Bowl to Zydeco and did some Louisiana two-stepping. It was a fabulous week of relaxing and vacation for Meg and I.

We finished up the gardens by collecting the free dirt from our city park. Carlos could not resist taking over this project.

This fun age...

2011-03-02T21:59:00.000-06:00

Meg and I have commented recently how we're really enjoying this age (19 months in March). Carlos enjoys mimicing others, making funny faces, and has a variety of words he's able to say. Here's a few of his one-syllable words he knows well:
Light (particularly the light in our car that comes on when you get in and then goes off shortly after). Ball.
Bus (We often see these on our way to daycare). Blue.
Bird.
Fish.
Squirrel (this sounds mostly like "gurgle" but we know what he means.
He loves making animal noises and has gotten to know some new animal noises since getting Waddle for Christmas. He can make all the sounds Mr Brown can make too (Daddy's favorite book).
In other news, Meg and I are in mid-semester and looking forward to our spring break trip (more to come on that!)

Lone Elk Park...

2011-02-22T23:35:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday we traveled Southeast down Hwy I-44 to Lone Elk Park.

Lone Elk is free to the public and has a wild bird sanctuary too, where during viewing hours one can see bald eagles, red-tailed hawks, horned owls and a few other exotic raptors up close. With Carlos in the backpack we hiked the Bison trail that cuts in and out of the hilly terrain and were lucky enough to walk up on some Elk (tame) resting in the forest.
Carlos, while exploring the trail carried various sticks, leaves and enjoyed hugging the trees. At one point though, Meg had to quickly snatch away some Elk dung as Carlos brought it to his lips. BLEAH!
Since the weather has turned colder again, Meg and I were glad that we got outside this weekend rather than working on our never ending "to-do's."

In other news, everybody is finally back to a normal eating patterns and feeling healthy. We celebrated JP's 26th birthday by taking some friends out to dinner and enjoying a SLU basketball game (they beat Charlotte 61-56).

Look at those curls...

Shhhh...the elk are right over there.

The last child of the woods....

Happy Valentine's Day!

2011-02-13T22:18:00.000-06:00

Happy Valentine's Day from the Patino's!
This weekend we enjoyed an unseasonably warm 67 degrees to help melt away the snow/ice. Carlos and I spent most of the day outside playing with sidewalk chalk and chatting with the neighbors. Everybody is feeling better and looking forward to springtime!

Feel like bleh...

2011-02-09T17:40:00.003-06:00

In other news..I've been terribly sick for the past 4 days. I can't keep anything down, luckily my boss has been generous to let me get some rest by keeping up with emails from home. Meghan has taken good care of me, and Carlos will occasionally snuggle with me when he knows I'm feeling down. Doctor said it's a gastrointestinal virus, and it will pass over a couple of weeks. In the mean time, I'm to stick to a BRAT diet, Bananas, Rice, Applesauce, Toast. bleh.

Right time for a dog?

2011-02-07T09:52:00.005-06:00

These past few weeks St Louis has experienced off and on snow, sleet, freezing rain and the like. The city can't handle it, we shut down and only clear the major roads. Thus Meg, Carlos and I enjoyed a few days off while the city regrouped.
While walking over to the park this past Wednesday, we noticed a black dog running around without a leash. It seemed to be with a couple who were enjoying the park. As we approached the couple we commented on the dog to which they asked "you want her?"
The dog had been following the couple for about 20 minutes as they strolled around the park, she was less than a year old and ran around with all sorts of nervous energy. The dog was very sweet and took to us immediately. She had no collar, and no leash.
We decided that it was too cold to let her run around the park by herself, so with the help of another passerby we got her to our backyard.
That evening we took her in and called stray rescue, as well as the humane society to report the lost dog. The temperature was in the single digits that night so we were glad to bring her in.
Meg and I have off and on talked about getting a dog. Carlos absolutely loves animals and would love a little friend to cuddle and play with, but knowing how busy we are, the time and effort to train and take care of a pet may be more than what we can handle right now. We figured the only way that we would get a dog is if one just "walked into our lives." Was it meant to be??
To make matters worse this dog was so sweet and gentle with Carlos, she was playful and house trained. Overall just a great dog, we couldn't help but fall in love with her. So for a few days we took her in, never hearing from the Humane Society (HS). We bought her a toy and a bone so she didn't chew on anything of ours. We borrowed food from neighbors to keep her fed and loved on her when we got home. We were attached.
Knowing that there was somebody worrying about this dog, on Friday we took her to the HS to see if she had a microchip that would identify her and her owner. Luckily she did, and we were able to find her worried owners. But this dog didn't go without leaving a lasting impression on us..should we get a dog now?
In some ways there is never a right time, like getting married or having a baby. But typically with questions like those you have to be willing to take risks. So when is the right time to get a dog???

Oh my gosh November/December

2011-01-01T17:05:00.006-06:00

These past few months have flown by, Meg and I finished our semester's. My first one teaching/taking classes was a blast, but exhausting. Meg will graduate in 2011! She's been enjoying what she's learning and trying to figure out what will come next...

Carlos has grown and grown and continues to show us his strong Leo-like traits. He continues to love dancing around with his momma and has some new musical instruments to play with. I think we all enjoy how eager he is to be read to. Here's a look back at November/December. Sorry for the lack of posts...we will try to do better in 2011.

Carlos helped us paint the guest room, mostly by laying around and looking adorable with his new haircut! Yes, I did this when Meg wasn't around, she came back to find curls on the ground in our bathroom. Eventually she warmed up to his new look, but there were some early concerns.

Carlos was very excited to receive "Waddle" a scanimation picture book, by Rufus Seder. Thanks Grama Sue & Grampa Denny!

Carlos would often read to Uncle Peter when he came to visit for New Years.

Santa brought a sled for Christmas, and we were lucky enough to get snow too! Unfortunately there aren't any big hills in the park next to us, so we took turns pulling eachother around in the sled with Carlos riding on our laps.

Jessica Hadfield came to visit us in November to help us host our first Thanksgiving. We invited our neighbors and friend's Tom & Yo to join in the holiday.

October Events

2010-11-01T12:32:00.000-05:00

Finished my first marathon. Yo was my running mate. My dad, Chris Grisafe, JP and Carlos were our excellent support team.

Grandpa and Carlos.

Celebrating Sarah and Michael's wedding in San Antonio.

Nani and Gramps "twistin the night away."

JP and I also dancing the night away.

Eating and looking too darn cute (two common occurrences).

Carlos's first bath with his cousins. This photo could come back to haunt him:)

Halloween decorating with Yo!

Investing his pumpkin.

Enacting fear.

Zebra loose!

Carlos's first year

2010-08-08T07:53:00.003-05:00

We have commemorated Carlos's first year with a little movie using iMovie from Apple. All credit to Meg for putting this together. Please excuse the cheesiness that comes with being parents. =) Enjoy!

Summer Summer Summertime......

2010-08-03T18:05:00.011-05:00

My sincere apologies to all who had to put up with my personal statement for the last two months. We've been busy.

This summer has allowed us to really soak in the meaning of summer break. Thankfully, with my job teaching, we have had a more relaxed summer. So to recap the awesomeness that has been, listed in no particular order are the TOP TEN SUMMER 2010 Memories!!

Meghan ran 18 miles in Iowa in preparation for her marathon in October! We drove up to Davenport, Iowa to see our good friends Kate and Greg and their new babe, Mary. Meg did a training run with Kate on the bike while we were there.
Visiting with our dear friend Annie. Annie came to spend the hottest week of the summer with us here in St Louis, high-lite was road-tripping to a random river and spending a day in the cool water.
Enjoying free Summer Concerts at the Missouri Botanical Gardens multiple Wednesday nights.
Celebrating the 4th of July with the Kirchhoff family. We traveled to Columbia, MO to visit Lindsey and her family and enjoyed the lake. Meg and I rode on the back of an inner-tube being pulled by a jet ski. This was great fun until we went flying off and my foot just happened to hit Meg's shin and left a pretty big bruise.
Celebrating Sarah and Chad's wedding in Juneau AK. We enjoyed this great event by closing down the place, there were about 8 of us still dancing after the bride and groom left, the lights were on, the janitor was cleaning up, we just couldn't stop because the DJ was still going.
Finding out JP was accepted into the Masters program at SLU! They probably didn't even read that personal statement...
Spending time in Juneau, AK with the Salveson family, great meals, salmon fishing, hiking and lots of laughs. High-lite of the laughter came sometime as Denny was showing us old recordings of Meghan's Juneau Jumper days. =)
Meg's trip to Washington and a beach day with Mary on Widbey Island.
JP's two weeks of golfing at Maxwell, AFB during his "instructor training. "
The realization that we have a 1 year old in the house! I think it's set in that he's no longer this little baby but entering this new stage, which I think we're both in awe of and a little nervous about. =) More to come on this little boy turning 1.

(pics from AK_enjoy!)

a personal statement

2010-06-03T14:56:00.004-05:00

I am applying for a masters program this year. Being at SLU it just seems like there may not be a better time to start this. So here I go....application is all sent in, taking the GRE at the end of the month. Wish me luck.

Most applications include a personal statement this one was no different. I had to dig a little bit to get myself out of the generic "this is what I want to do with my life" paper. I still met that criteria but I told it the way I wanted to:

Personal Statement

In 2003 at the United States Air Force Academy, 20 percent of females surveyed reported being victims of sexual assault. In 2004 and again in 2007, 15 or more students were expelled for cheating. Then again in 2004, the Air Force Academy was under investigation for religious intolerance. During my time at the Academy we talked a lot about leadership, we talked a lot about integrity but unfortunately some of the things we saw there did not fit with the exemplary image most people have of the Air Force Academy. Many students and faculty spent a great deal of time blaming the “bad apples,” the one’s that just didn’t belong and were doing all of these unbecoming acts. A few of my classes understood that every organization is perfectly designed to produce the results it achieves, meaning that as much as we wanted to blame the “bad apples” for their actions, systemically the Academy was performing exactly as it was designed.

While I was at the Air Force Academy I was passionate about studying transformation, and transformative leadership and I had the perfect case study right in front of me. I hoped to be a part of the solution and during my senior year I lead a team of 4 other cadets to brief the Academy Superintendent, Lieutenant General John Regni and his staff on the paradigm shift that needed to take place in order to truly be who we espoused to be: the premier institute for character and leadership.

In order to change a huge bureaucratic machine it takes time and a true sense of urgency of the problem at hand. In such a highly structured environment where the leadership is centralized, transformation is an enormous undertaking. The fact that a few cadets made it to brief the three-star General was significant; however the change that followed was underwhelming. The general formed a few action teams as a result of our discussion and by the time I graduated there was very little movement from those groups.

My interest in transformation is still present but I view it differently than I did as a cadet at the Academy. I also understand better what changes are possible within certain context and environments.

Within this crisis of depleting resources in our world and a continued acceptance of market greed I again hope to be part of the solution.

I am a strong communicator and am able to look at and explain situations from a variety of perspectives. I hope to use this skill as a consultant. I would like to help organizations look at themselves from a holistic perspective. My goal is to help businesses develop a triple bottom-line mindset that they may be financially, socially and environmentally responsible.

The Masters of Sustainability program compliments my desire to consult because it is based upon a holistic curriculum. The fact that I will be able to study not only from the business school, but also from the social work and the science and engineering schools increases my breadth of perspectives from which to solve the problems of today. I hope to continue to pursue leading change and strive to help businesses, schools and governments transform into organizations that are intentional socially, financially and environmentally.

I will forever be grateful for the experience that the US Air Force Academy gave me as well as my time in the Air Force. I am currently teaching in the Reserve Officer Training Corps at St Louis University as a member of active duty Air Force. Once I finish this assignment I will have fulfilled my service obligation and will be eligible to leave active duty. Although leaving the Air Force will be a tough decision for myself and my family it is one that I am preparing for today. My intention is to continue to use what the Air Force has taught me in terms of transformative leadership, attention to detail, and endurance throughout my next endeavors.

Organizational Learning; Exercise in Sensemaking

2010-05-29T11:55:00.007-05:00

I recently came across a paper by Karl E. Weick, a professor from U Michigan B-school.
The article's purpose was to talk about learning in leadership and sense-making. Sense-making is exactly as it appears; it is the process of how people make sense of things they experience.

"Learning is as much perceptual as it is computational. Often times we look for
learning in the wrong activities and overlook learning in the obvious
places. Knowledge is not something people possess in their heads but rather something people do together."

Often times in organizations we do things out of habit or routine. We make
collective decisions because of what has always been done. We
put our blinders on to what is actually happening and assume that all is
status as normal.
In everything we do we must make sense of it which gives us a starting point for what our role is which then leads us to act. In the article he gives some examples of situations gone awry involving medical treatments and forest fires in which there was no proper exchange of information from which to make sense.

Here's one way to conduct public sense-making. It is a five part briefing
protocol that is being used increasingly often by crew chiefs in the Forest
Service to give direction to a firefighting crew.
1. Here's what I think we face:
2. Here's what I think we should do;
3. Here's why;
4. Here's what we should keep our eye on;
5. Now talk to me; (i.e. tell me if you (a) do not understand (b) cannot do it, (c) see something I do not).

One especially striking point to this 5-part brief is that in the middle of it, the person must explain their reasoning. This shows vulnerabability and can open your reasons up to scrutiny but it also makes you very accountable for your decisions.

Moved In!

2010-05-26T21:38:00.008-05:00

Oh my gosh! This past month has been incredibly busy. In one sense I can't believe we're all moved in, there were times it seemed to take forever. But on the other hand Meghan and I have worked really hard to make this place our home. (painted three rooms, painted cabinets, installed hardware, Meg finished her semester, installed OTR microwave, installed kitchen faucet, bought tv, hung up tv, packed up, cleaned up, unpacked, hung up pictures....)

All of these projects have taken us to Home Depot which is just a few blocks away for variuos items, it seems no project is ever as simple as it first appears. The home we now own is almost 100 years old, it is not a fixer-upper by any means. It was gutted about 11 years ago and is very comfortable inside. But there is always something....Meg and I are pretty comfortable as homeowneres in our creativity and also figuring out what we want. But at times it feels as though the projects will NEVER END.

There is a very easy temptation to fall into of keeping up with the Jones's or the Kardashians (do they even do home stuff?). Upgrade this...stainless steel that. Obviously budget will be the first thing to get in our way playing that game, but still the temptation is there as if we NEED all of that.

For now, I think we're slowing down on the projects and are going to just enjoy our new place. We've had a few visitors; Meg's mom came and helped put flowers around the home, Nick helped me install the micorwave and fan.

Here's a few pics of everything. Carlos has been happy as ever crawling through boxes and with all the extra wrapping paper he spent some time finger painting (kind of like body painting).

Moving in

Getting into trouble....

2010-05-02T21:32:00.002-05:00

Meg was able to catch Carlos as he discovered his ability to open drawers. We're the ones in trouble now.

The new kids on the block...

2010-05-02T21:01:00.003-05:00

Yes we did. Thank you Obama-tax credit, we did our part and saved this poor little house from sitting on the market one more day. Like it or not, the tax credit provided incentive enough for us and thousands of others like us to purchase their first homes. For us, that will result in many a trip to Lowes and Home-Depot in the succeeding months to make our house a home. =)

Meg and I closed on our new house on Friday morning. It was scary and exciting all at once. On Saturday we packed up our car with all our newly purchased painting supplies to go and get ready to decorate.

As we surveyed our new property it was easy to get a little overwhelemed with our own plans for the house, i.e painting, new appliances, cleaning. We had to remind ourselves ndank ndank mooy jopp golo ci gnaay (only slowly slowy will you catch a monkey in the forest).

The evening ended with us sitting on our front porch with our new neighbors, drinking beer, and talking about the neighborhood, the park, the coffee shop, and all the wonderful things we'll enjoy about our new home. Needless to say we're excited.

Date night is back!

2010-04-25T13:33:00.003-05:00

Last night Meg and I were able to go to a wedding of some soon to be dear friends. I say soon-to-be because they will be our new neighbors when we move to our home. =) Meg knew the girl from her MSW (masters in social work) program and they were gracious enough to invite us to their very wonderful wedding and reception.

We hired a baby-sitter that we met from the youth group at church. She did a great job of watching Carlos and allowed us to stay out until midnight dancing until we couldn't dance any more. The dancing was energetic to say the least and was capped off by Meg doing jumping jacks around the dance floor to black-eyed peas, "I've got a feeling". She was later escorted out by security but allowed back in if she promised never to do that again. (I jest)

At the wedding we sat next to a couple who had been married for 22 years, Pat and Mary. They have raised 4 boys and seemed to exude great joy about it all. As they told stories of their experiences of wrestling and breaking tables and picture frames throughout the boys adolescence they seemed to genuinely love it all. It made us think having all boys would be a fun and exciting way to have a family. Needless to say this is far different than both Meg or my experiences but if it happens we're up for it.

One of Pat and Mary's tips was date night once a week, no matter what. This sometimes seems impossible with our busy schedule's but man, it would be so nice. We have decided to do our best to incorporate this new strategy. Cheap dates are going to be on the rise in the Patino household. Pat and Mary shared their stories of often hiring a baby-sitter for 2 hours, buying a magazine and a cheap bottle of wine and sitting in their car reading and drinking. Although, not glamorous it sounds memorable.

For starters we have established a baby-sitter allowance in our monthly budget, this should at least get us out of the house by ourselves for a few hours a week. Even if it's just for a magazine. =)

new job via metrolink

2010-04-20T20:09:00.005-05:00

This week I started my new job at St Louis University as the ROTC unit admissions officer. In my first fews days it is quite obvious that this is unlike anything I've done in the AF. It's a combination recruiter/teacher/counselor. I'm lucky that my regional director is across the hallway and has been a huge help in training me up.

Since we haven't moved to our new house just yet, I've been commuting via Metrolink. This has provided a few random moments of interacting with humanity. I typically get a few stares, occasionally somebody shakes my hand and says "thank you for your service." The hardest is when a veteran wants to share his entire Vietnam experience with me and the rest of the train. I've had a hard time politely excusing myself from the conversation when I have 5 more stops left. It isn't a bad thing that they want to share, in fact, I think the whole point is to relate to somebody else who they know has served. No doubt, there is something unique to the experience of serving in the military. Sometimes the stories go into the hardness of war or the trauma that they have seen. It is these stories that are hard to hear, though most likely, these vets haven't been able to share their experiences with many other people. So, there I am.

In other news...Carlos is crawling and has taken over the the living room.

Easter Plus

2010-04-14T22:05:00.000-05:00

Ok, so we've been slacking on the Patino Post, but it's only April, we can only get better. =)
Easter was an awesome time to be a Patino, I made cascarones, a Mexican tradition (although, I've only seen this in San Antonio). And Meghan made cinnamin rolls...mmm, mmm...they were delicious. This is the third year Meg has made these for Easter. I love that we have already developed some of our own family traditions. They rolls get better every year. I think the first two years she killed the yeast and they were like dense little frosted cakes instead of light and fluffy rolls. This year they were waaay better. =)

Springtime is officially here in Southern Illinois! It has been absolutely beautiful and sunny. We've put up our clothsline and kept the A/C off all week. I sometimes struggle with this no A/C thing because I think I have extra sweat glands. I'm dealing with it pretty well, mostly because of the money saving factor. Meg's all about it, this is the only three weeks of the year we can go the whole time with our windows open.

The biggest news of this spring is that we are moving to St Louis because of my new job. I'll be teaching ROTC at St Louis University. I am extremely excited about this new endeavor. I'm looking forward to being on a college campus, to interact with all of those enthusiastic young minds, and to be in a different environment. It's like a breathe of fresh air! I keep taking these deep breathes taking in this change like can't believe it's happening.

Adding to the big news; we bought a house! Well, it's not finished yet, we close at the end of the month. We're moving to St Louis city, we'll be near Tower Grove Park. We are totally thrilled at this new locale and that both of our commute's will be only 20 min by bus. On any given day I could also jog, or bike to work. It's that good.

We are very thankful that we've been given these oppurtunities and look forward to living in the city. Our time in Belleville has been good to us, but it is time for a change. We'll move in early May and begin making it our home.

Thoughts by Meg

2010-03-26T00:58:00.000-05:00

Well I have rarely added a post myself and I thought since my husband and child are sleeping/going to sleep and I am wide awake and pumping, now would be an ideal time. This week has provided a lot of experiences worthy of reflection.

First, I attended a lobby day in Missouri's capitol for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender (GLBT) rights. The day was spent advocating for two bills: the Safe School Act and Missouri's Non-Discrimination Act (MONA). As part of my practicum. I represent Community Conflict Services on the Safe School Coalition which advocates for greater implementation of anti-bullying policies in schools. This act enumerates the categories of students affected by bullying to include sexual orientation. MONA expands human rights of the GLBT community to include job and housing security. In Missouri, it is legal to fire someone from their job or deny a person housing based on their sexual orientation. A woman spoke at the rally explaining how she was fired from her position as president of a credit union once it was known she was a lesbian. The majority floor leader of MO's House of Representatives, who is Republican and sympathetic to the human right concerns, stated that in order to gain more republican buy-in, gaining the support of churches is an important step. In regards to the Catholic faith, perhaps it will be the nun's to stand up for human rights for ALL people, as they were an important voice in support of the health care reform.

I met many gracious and fun characters as a participant of this lobby day. And I send out a thanks to Stacey Newman, a state representative who let me pump in her office.

Other reflections of today are in response to my time at ICA, an alternative school in North St. Louis. St. Louis city is a highly racially and economically divided city and North St. Louis is mostly poor and mostly black. My practicum places me in an environment where race cannot be glossed over. I question if I am the best person to be working with these students as I come from literally a different world. I spend my few hours with these students each week and then return to my world of a loving and intact family, of middle-class values, of relative safety and freedom of violence. In contrast, these student's face death weekly, live in a state of constant stress and rarely experience in-tact family. A girl's comment today struck me as she said she's not scared of gun shots, "I'm not going to run if I hear gun shots. If it's my time to die, then it's my time." I can barely wrap my mind around this daily reality.

As I was sharing with another practicum student how I question if I am the best person to work with this population compared to someone who the student's can relate better to, she reminded me not to take a fatalistic approach. Yes- these students need mentors who look like them and have lived their reality. I cannot be that to them, but I can offer opportunities for students to understand that it is possible to relate to people who are very different then them. Heck- we all need this skill to be successful in whatever we do. While I do not always believe it, I am striving to have faith that if nothing else, my presence speaks to the truth that these students are worth valuing and that they embody great potential. Ndank, ndank (slowly, slowly).

-Meg

P.S. I recognize that I rarely reflect of my daily experiences outside home-liede because once I'm home I'm so happy to just be mom to little baby Carlos. This was good. It's always about finding that fine balance.

Who is sitting up???

2010-03-24T21:48:00.000-05:00

Since we put a video of Mike Tyson we also thought Carlos should have a video. =)

Documentary: Tyson

2010-03-24T21:30:00.000-05:00

Tyson is a captivating documentary that chronicles the life of former heavy weight champion, Mike Tyson.
Tyson as all people who recognize the sport know, was made for boxing. He is like a bull in the ring, his hands were lightening quick, and had an ability to work inside of opponents twice his size to gain an advantage. He was the ultimate fighter.
The story of Tyson is truly about a man who rises from troubled past. With help of mentors, guides, and coaches he trains in the art of boxing with great discipline and focus to first become the youngest junior Olympic champion. He even holds the title for fastest knockout in the junior Olympics: 8 seconds.
Mike narrates the documentary throughout, telling his story in his own way. I found this intriguing as he shares his reflections of each stage of his life. From his early wins, to his first marriage, to his first divorce, his first heavy-weight championship, his conviction of rape and prison sentence. He reflects on his obsession with women and money, both in awe and deeply ashamed of what he has done.
If you ever followed Tyson in the 90s his actions towards women were egregious and inexcusable. Yet, the film does a great job showing the two sides of Mike. Inside the ring, he was fearless, intimidating, super-human. But outside he was lost, reckless, and child-like. This is a good story about a fighter on the surface level who is on top of his game. But underneath that, is someone deeply troubled trying to figure out himself. The documentary shows the fight he faces inside and outside of the ring. This, to me, is what makes it such an intriguing documentary, we watch as Mike reflects on his own life and he challenges himself to live better.
As an ex-boxer, I appreciated the scenes of his fights and appreciate what an athelete he was. But more importantly I appreciated watching Tyson as he reflected on the man he is and who he wants to be.

The Naked Now--Presence

2010-03-14T21:10:00.000-05:00

My goals that I started at the begining of the year were all related to how to be more present to now, to be more reflective, and to take time to be exactly where I am in the moment.
The Naked Now is a book about spiritual awakening by Richard Rorh where he discusses forces such as ego and dual thinking in order to uncover a deeper self. In the first few chapters he talks about wisdom in being present.

Wisdom is precisely a different way of seeing and knowing those ten thousand things, as the Buddhists poetically call it.

I suggest that wisdom is precisely the freedom to be present. Wise people always know how to be present, but it is much more than that. Presence is wisdom! People who are fully present know how to see fully, rightly and truthfully. Presence is the ONE thing necessary and in many ways, the hardest thing of all. Just try to keep your heart open, your mind without division or resistance and your body not somewhere else. Presence is the practical, daily task of all mature religion and all spiritual disciplines.

This is the daily task admist the grind of the day and the many decisions, plans and choices that we must make. Yet we are called to stay present to those moments while we are in them.

Meg and I returned from vacation in San Antonio, it was a glorious Texas springtime. We were most present to it all as we played on the beach, ate with friends and family, and enjoyed our baby boy. Hopefully we will continue to be present to it all despite not being on vacation.

February home-buying thoughts...

2010-02-28T22:41:00.000-06:00

We are in the market to buy a house (JP's new job is in the city--more to come ).

We are looking, and asking the hard questions. One particularly hard question that has come up is how to live our values of living admist diversity (to include socio-economic, race, politik) in our search for buying a house we will be reselling in 3-4 years? Do you look at this as strictly a business deal (meaning purchase only what is re-sellable)? Or do you look at this as an oppurtunity to continue to learn from those that are different than you (without sacrificing safety)?

I did find a good website that figures on whether it is best to buy or rent at this time.

The process for home-buying is incredibly time/energy/mind consuming. Like it or not, when you are in the market it tends to take over just about every conversation. I continue to learn more and more about home-buying, taking advice from many different sources (solicited & unsolicited). As we walk through this process, we try to keep an openness of faith that if it is right; we'll know.

FYI--it was JP's birthday on the 19th. We threw a great party, that included a delicious meal by Meghan and table painting. Pictures here.

Here's the latest on Carlitos:

He has recently been introduced to peas and laundry baskets. =)

The Story Continues

2010-02-19T00:19:00.000-06:00

My wonderful, magnanimous husband was born 26 years ago this day! I am very grateful for this life. I speak for many; for his sisters, his parents, definitely for all our nieces and nephews who adore him, his in-laws, for those he works with and for our friends here in Illinois and afar, we have struck great fortune to be in your life.

Honey bunny- you are the love of my life. You are more my best friend today than ever before; the one I am so thankful to tuck myself into bed with at night.

Life continues:) I think we're recognizing it can get complicated and we're not always on vacation. But you see, you keep the vacation spirit in my life. The moments of dancing in the kitchen dancing, sharing late night stories and laughter or while playing with our son, you carve out space in our family to appreciate all that is before us. Your presence and your wisdom pull me back to this moment when I can't do it myself. Thank you.

Year 25 has been a great year. What has struck me in this past year is how much you've given your time and talent to others. You supported a pregnant wife with foot massages and many classes, you helped to bring our son into this world, you took on a new job and fought to create a working environment that shows that the workers are valued, you've taken tremendous care of our family and are working hard to find a good home for us, you've given your time to support an organization that cares for people who are often overlooked and you're the other half which allows me to continue my education.

And now another year! Year 26. The story continues. To where? Well if either of us knew, it wouldn't be quite the same adventure. I'm happy to share the journey with you; in fact, I'm humbled to. Je t'aime beaucoup. May you have a day filled with gratitude.

Love,

Your Wife

Yes or No?

2010-02-10T21:34:00.000-06:00

It’s tough to be told no when you are applying for a job, position, scholarship, grant...etc.
I’ve been told no a number of times since I have entered the Air Force. For things where I thought I was a perfect candidate, where I was the only one or where the stars seemed to align and then somebody said “no.”

I hate being told no.

I once applied to go to the Coast Guard Academy in Rhode Island for the semester, this was while I was at the Air Force Academy in Colorado. I felt like this would have been a great opportunity for me to expand my horizons and to have a much desired change of scenery. Yet, I was told no. It seemed cataclysmic at the time and I was falling into a pit of self pity. I felt helpless.

I have never been on the other side of no until today.
As a manager of about a dozen people. I’m looking at what our manning will be come April as many people are departing to new jobs and deployments. One individual, a very qualified, articulate, and bright girl submitted an application to do a job outside of our office for the summer months. The package was very professionally done, tabbed, labeled, neatly with little “sign here” post-its flagging down potential approvals.
I had to break it to her that with so many people leaving this summer we could not let her go.

I said no.

She was heart-broken.

I tried to explain my reasoning saying that it had nothing to do with her, it was just bad timing. And that any other day we could let her go, just not during the summer months when we’re losing so many to deployments and moves.
No matter how many times I told her it was just bad timing, it didn’t matter. I had said no, and that’s all she heard. Life predictably became unfair.

Now, I have seen both sides.
As she walked out of my office, trying to gain her composure, I sat for a little while, feeling that heart-ache all over knowing full well what it is like to be on the receiving end.

We want to hear yes when we ask for things, yes to things that make us feel good about ourselves. This means giving people jobs, and projects to be excited about. In this economy so many people are feeling that helplessness, that feeling of rejection. And it's not just their egos, but their livelihood.

Saying yes often requires sacrifices. For me and my section it would mean somebody else is inheriting more work with her departure. For businesses to keep people in their jobs it may require less hours from some so that more people can at least have work.

Yes often requires sacrifices....yet so does no.

And now pictures of the family!

Carlos and his new tricks include rolling from belly to back and belly again!

These are the goofy faces Carlos sees everytime he does something great, like poop.

And this is the happy guy we wake up to...most days. =)

"The Color Purple"

2010-02-07T21:29:00.001-06:00

This past Saturday Meghan and I got a baby-sitter and went out for a night on the town in St Louis. We enjoyed an appetizer and drinks before we strolled down Lindell Ave on a brisk night. We then walked to the Fox theater to see the musical "The Color Purple."

"The Color Purple" written by Alice Walker, was first published in 1982. It was made into a film by the same name directed by steven Speilberg in 1985 long before it went on broadway as a musical at the end of 2005.

The setting is 1930's about a young black girl named "Celie." The story is a "coming of age" as we journey with Celie amidst the complexity of being poor, black, and female. The music is strong in its gospel sound and bluesy attitude. Early in the performance I was over-whelmed (in a good way) by the voices and harmonies that were happening all at once. The lyrics are often whitty, and just when you think you may have the story all figured out, there is more to the lesson.

Celie is a young mother who has her children taken from her. She is abused both physically and verbally by her father, and eventually given away as a "wife" to a man who treats her no better. Throughout the story as we watched the gross treatment she underwent I found myself asking how do we (the audience) fit into this? The explanation comes later, and I won't give away the surprise for why it's called "The Color Purple." But even as she questions "how can a loving God allow this to happen?" she holds on to her only hope in the world: that one day, after this life, she can be reunited with her family.

This is a rich story that teaches about perseverance, courage, resilence, and hope. It shows the choice to respond in love and tenderness over bitterness and malice. Now, it's not all seriousness. In all the complexity and hardness there was much laughter and joy, showing that life is not one or the other but always "both and."

I walked away from the Color Purple filled and deeply satisfied spiritually, and emotionally. Rather than the theater it was as if we'd spent a Saturday night at church, or what church is meant to be. Meghan and I agreed this moved into one of our all-time favorites easily. It was just that good and made for a most memorable date night.

Why I'm not getting my degree online....

2010-01-31T21:34:00.001-06:00

My friend Alan recently sent me an article from Business Week that sealed the deal for why I am not going to bother getting a degree from an online program.
To give a little context, Alan and I are both junior officers in the Air Force, we are people who value our education and know that a masters degree is used in our proffession to achieve rank. That being said there is an underlying assumption that the military (in our case, the Air Force) values education. But do they really?

I would argue that they military does not value the education as much as they value a member having a degree. To most, it is a check in the box.

I see this not only as a junior officer but for our junior and upper level enlisted members as well. The former are often 18-20 year olds who graduated from high school and are encouraged to get their bachelors through either the CCAF (community college of the Air Force) or through other online programs such as Phoenix, American Military, or Granthem U. The issue with these programs is that they may require a 60 credit program in order to achieve a bachelors degree, however those 60 credits lack the rigor of a regular college. Same thing is seen with the mater's programs.

Travis Daun, a 33-year-old former Navy lieutenant commander (equivalent of a Major in the AF) who trained as a nuclear engineer on a submarine, left the service in August after receiving an online MBA from American InterContinental, a unit of Career Education (CECO), based in Hoffman Estates, Ill.
"I was disappointed in the rigor and challenge of the courses," Travis Daun says, adding that each course lasted five weeks, with at most two hours a week of class time. "I don't think I had a 4.0 effort, yet I had a 4.0 grade-point average."

I hear the same sentiment from members of my unit with their masters programs.

"Daun is unemployed. His college roommate, who also became a nuclear engineer in the Navy and earned an MBA from the University of Maryland's University College, did find a job, Daun says. "His MBA definitely helped him a lot more than my AIU degree is helping me," he says. Daun turned to Lucas Group, an executive search firm that specializes in placing former military personnel. "Does his master's from American InterContinental open a lot of doors for him? No, it doesn't," says Lee Cohen, a managing partner at Lucas based in Irvine, Calif."

So why would these service members pay for a degree that does them no good on the outside? Well, they don't pay for them. You do.

Tuition assistance program(TA) is considered a quality of life program that all branches of the military offer their active duty members. For the Air Force is covers a maximum of $250/credit hour, or $4,500 per fiscal year. For most online degree programs this covers tuition and fees with the exception of books.

So what's the incentive for this to military members? Well, it's fast, it's practically free, it requires little effort, and it equals a check in the box.

The unsettling thing about this is that these for-profit, schools are feeding off of a culture of "do more" and it is adding to the rising cost of our military spending, but what is the added value?

Unfortunately this is a whole culture of "do more" that this issue encapsulates, but there are more realist ways to promote higher education with intentional design.
There is an application that is submitted for a military members to receive TA. This mainly holds the member accountable to taking classes that are a part of a degree plan. However, what we need are measures to hold the schools accountable for their curriculum. For example, teachers should be full-time, classes should have to physically meet at least twice per quarter, credits should not be given for things outside of the school's curriculum (e.g Basic Training counting towards credits) etc.

I had always been advised to not pursue an online degree, but until I read this article I was some what indifferent towards it. I understood the benefits, the speed and convenience at which I could get a masters. But as someone who cares about my education, I could no longer submit to taking an online (for-profit) program.

What about you? Are you enrolled in an online program? Is it for profit? What am I missing here? Is this worth our representative's attention, considering who's paying for it?

Monday

2010-01-24T22:17:00.000-06:00

6:26am: Lying in bed, I hear him. My eyes open. He’s awake. ‘Probably hungry.’
”JP, can you bring him here? I’ll nurse him.”

7:45am: Still in bed, Carlos is asleep next to me. ‘I could either sleep more or…swim, I have a paper due tonight; I need an hour to finish editing. I’m up, I should swim.’

9:07am: We’re driving home from the gym. ‘Ok, shower then diaper… no wait, diaper then… no nurse then diaper then shower. I need to make those edits.’

10:30am: I’m getting dressed. (sniff)…’this shirt smells like breast milk. Ok, read UN Declaration of Human Rights. 53 Articles! Eee. I’ll just read the topic sentences.’

11:37am: We’re nursing on the couch, I’m picking sweet potato from his hair. I’m admiring the twinkle in his eyes. ‘Ok, Diaper, then lunch, then read. Oh, Terry Grove’s coming on. Diaper…’

”Oh my goodness. We’ll be changing that outfit cutie pie.”

I’m smiling.

1:06pm: We’re playing on the floor. He is so close to rolling from back to belly, that arm gets in his way. He has started to develop a great little laugh. The octopus he plays with has little ribbons at the end of its legs. As he holds it above his face it looks as if he is tasting each of the colored ribbons.

“Does that taste good baby?”

He catches me looking at him and gives me his charming smile. I melt.

‘Oh, I want to download pray as you go.’

2:23pm: On the couch again.

‘To do: brainstorm for research class topics, pump.’

He’s down for a second nap, he’s out before we finish nursing. I’m out before Article 50.

2:56pm: Short nap. We finish nursing. One more diaper changing. I have to get to those edits. Baby on floor, toys all around, squeals and rolls.

‘Cut. Paste. Delete. Delete. Comma, period. What time is the metro? I need to pump.’

4:42pm: JP walks in.
“Hellooo? Hey baby.”
“You’re home early.”
“What time is your metro?”
“5:12.”
“Ok, you about ready?”
“Yes, oh! I need to do one more thing.”

5:11pm: I step out of the car.
“Alright, I love you baby. Text me when you’ll get back.”
“Love you.”

5:15pm: I’m searching through my bag on the metro.
‘Where did I…?’
I pull out my ipod.
‘Press ‘play’.
I breathe deep.
Inhale.
Exhale.
‘ I can’t imagine doing this by myself.’
Soft music begins.
Inhale.
Exhale.

by JP

Presence and Three Cups of Tea

2010-01-16T10:04:00.000-06:00

Alright, week two…I’m getting better because at least it’s on my mind to do this.

Presence
This past weekend I attended a quiet retreat. My prayer this weekend had to do with presence, perhaps continuing on my new years theme of slowing down. I am trying to be present, more in the moments as they are. This as opposed to being “in my head”, which takes me to the future and my other favorite hobby: planning. This is where I go when I’m not where I am. I go to next month, I go to next week, to tomorrow, and I think how will this work out? What do I want to be doing at that time?
The retreat and the silence challenged me to sit and be, to be exactly where I was, to experience things in that moment and not be thinking about the moment(s) to come. It was a nice break from the every-day to-do lists and served me well.

Three Cups of Tea
I recently finished Three Cups of Tea, the story of Greg Mortenson. It is a great story about one man’s life work to make a difference in Pakistan and Afghanistan. I believe that there are lessons here that can be applied anywhere. Greg did a few things that made him a strong leader and advocate for people in need. First, he listened, he didn’t make judgments right away, or come with the solutions, he spent time listening (hence the name three cups of tea, this is how many cups it would take in that culture to be trusted as family). Second, he was open to learning , I appreciated that he was open to practicing Islam with his hosts, I thought to pray with them was a very humble act.
Overall, I give the book a 3.8 out of 5, it was written like a 3rd hand account, which may appeal to some. For me, I probably won’t be reading the next book, Stones into Schools. I predict more of the same inspiring story, which loses its awe after the first time.
There is more to be said about what this book has helped me recognize. I recently spoke with a former professor of mine from USAFA who continues to inspire me. Capt V, as her students knew her, dreamed of one day helping non-profits finance themselves in serving the poor. I was able to catch up with her via google chat, and found out that she is applying for a job at Acumen Fund. This seems to be a very worthwhile organization. Organizations like this one and another one called Kiva, inspire me. These are the Greg Mortenson types of people who are making a difference in our world. They are helping create jobs, and livelihoods, giving dignity and respect to people all over the world. More than anything, Three Cups of Tea and speaking with Capt V, allowed me to reflect on what is possible in making a difference in our world, to believe that there are those out there who are concerned about global poverty and are willing to use their skills for other peoples benefit. If you get the chance, I encourage you to check out those two organizations liked above.

Whidbey Island....Portland....New Year

2010-01-07T20:26:00.001-06:00

During my time at the USAFA I always appreciated my vacations to the northwest. Having never lived there myself, I felt like I returned from there with a fresh perspective on life. The northwest has raincoats, trail-hikes, coffee, and coffee-shops. With that comes an ability to sit and listen to others experiences' in a way we don't always make time for. I loved my time in the northwest this Christmas/New Years.

For this I am Thankful...

Whidbey Island. Meghan's parents home sits on a cliff side looking west. The sunsets there are what honey-mooners dream of. Overlooking the bay you see snow-capped mountains resting on the other side. From the cliff side it is as though you sit on your own cloud, your own perch above the earth. There, silence surrounds you, the only noises are often the cries of ravens and eagles which you can find perched in the nearby sitka spruce trees.
My in-laws are most generous people, my mother-in-law often hosts several parties at any time over a vacation weekend, welcoming anyone and everyone to the house. In her planning she has the meticulousness of an Army General everything to the smallest details, tastes and colors matter.
My father-in-law is a jolly soul, he has such a personable character engaging in conversation with all who enter. Both are tremendous hosts and generous people with their house on a cloud, their slice of heaven.

New Year = New Perspective
We traveled down to Portland via train to see my sister and her family. Spending time with my sister this year helped me realize how life is a process, a journey. Watching my sister and brother-in-law get their kids ready to play in the snow served as a small yet great illustration of the time it takes to accomplish what you want in life. Often times, I find myself in such a hurry to get to the next step, the next assignment, the next goal. I am a planner by nature, and if I don't have something to occupy me fully at that moment I am planning for the next moment, next week, or next year(s). One of my goals this year is to slow down. So I'm adding a few goals to help me do this.

1. I'm cooking more. For two reasons, one Meg will be in school more often in the evenings and I have to, so rather than sticking to my usual two recipes of pizza and sloppy joes, I am going to venture out and try new recipes. We recently purchased The Joy of Cooking to help me in this endeavor.

2. I'm going to blog once per week. So far so good, I made my first deadline by posting on the 7th. =) I'll get better at this. I think for me, sitting down and writing is a healthy activity that require time and thought.

3. I'm reading one book per month. This month I am reading Three Cups of Tea, I may post about it later, but I'm enjoying this one thoroughly.

I'm gonna stop there, I think 3 is always a good number, that way I can easily remember what my goals are come May.

And now some pictures....enjoy.
Left: Carlos (in blue) with cousins Dean and Fiona in Portland.

Below: Meghan feeding Carlos his first semi-real food, rice cereals.

Left: Carlos after first time eating solids...wahoo! Sleep longer my boy!

Looking forward to....Christmas

2009-12-08T21:17:00.001-06:00

As we are celebrating this Advent season, we've tried to create a few traditions in our house. We did not buy a Christmas tree just because we won't be here to celebrate the holiday but we have put up some lights and made an Advent wreath.

I'm looking forward to some time off and a change of scenery. Say a prayer for Meg and Carlos as they fly to Seattle by themselves. We'll be at Whidbey Island for some time and then down to see my sister Lora and her family in Portland.

Some of our favorite things about the holiday season: Chai tea, hot chocolate, Nat King Cole singing Christmas songs, Christmas lights, Advent wreath's, smell of Christmas trees, and gathering with friends and family.

Here are a few pictures of us in November. We spent Thanksgiving at my sister Rita's house with her family and my parents:

JP as the "cheese-monster" striking fear into the hearts of children everywhere.

Meghan as the "hummus-monster" striking fear into the heart of JP.

Gramps and Carlos!!

Carlos taking his weekly bath which he now enjoys, and even giggles at the feel of warm water.

Sleeping in on Thanksgiving vacation

6 Quick Pics by JP

2009-10-27T21:47:00.000-05:00

Here are 6 quick pictures of things that happened this October. Enjoy!

Carlos was voted cutest baby in the whole wide world.

Meet THE PATINO'S! Homemade costume's from Goodwill $20. Face paint for masks from Target $4. JP fitting into Meg's maternity swim suit bottoms PRICELESS. And still we only got runner-up to the costume party. The guy who beat us was wearing nothing but a box with the word "Censored" over his you know what .

Carlos gained some weight and watched tv, we are trying to develop good habits early.

Here we are picking pumpkin's at Eckert's farm, we came home and carved up a combination ape-man/frankenstein, very frightening.

Often times I'll come home to see Meg and Carlos nustled up with a good book, this one was especially exciting for Carlos.

We celebrated Carlos's baptism with our friends from the Day chapel at St Nick's parish along with Meg's parents and grandma, and my parents, and Nick and Mary who all flew in for the event.

We love you guys and miss you all. It was a busy month for us, Fall is here, leaves are changing, and rainy season has begun. We're looking forward to the holiday's with our families. Love, JP, Meg and Carlitos

Thought on Creation

2009-09-30T22:25:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was struck by the paradox of human's creations. I was sitting on the couch nursing Carlos and watching his face shift between his various amusing expressions while also finishing the documentary, "Why We Fight." This film explores the military industrial complex of the U.S. and the misuse of power. In my hands a creation of new life, innocence, awe and wonder juxtaposed to the U.S.'s thriving economy of destruction. This is a confusing world.

-Meg

September Updates

2009-09-30T19:12:00.000-05:00

Grandpa Patino deemed Carlos as having a "pimple chin." Then he and JP concluded he must have gotten his chin from me... is that a compliment?

Grandfather and Grandson first unite

Great Grandpa Patino... where the good looks come from:)

The Great Grandparents and Aunt Carrie stayed with us a few days. This photo is taken at the top of the St. Louis Arch though you can't tell by the view.

We spend a lot of time looking at this face daily.

He looks ready for any adventure. Look at that head control (the pediatrician was even impressed).

Family Photos ( Carlos One Month Old)

2009-09-19T11:18:00.001-05:00

Curious Carlos and his papa

Momma and Carlos

Carlos with character

Carlos as the youngest wedding guest

Meg's favorite domestic duty